Hit a mental…everything (Life Update?)

Not going to lie. This year has been complete shit so far.

Mentally, physically and emotion health wise.

And I absolutely hate it.

Hate that I’m so far in my head that I can’t pull myself out. I can’t remember the last time I was afraid of….myself.

Usually someone in my life has held that spot, its been years since it’s been me.

But here we are.

Everything has exploded and caught up with me.

Anything I thought I have escaped or dodged in the past is back in full blast.

And hell I’ve been trying to fake it. With work and life and I just finished the show last month and I just…

I can’t anymore.

I don’t know what I’m going to do if I’m being perfectly honest with you and I always try to be here.

Oh and my birthday is next month. My birthday is next month and I’m in such a terrible mental funk that I don’t even want to acknowledge it. Like can we push that back like two-weeks or two months like yeah thanks.

The next couple of weeks…months maybe (Hopefully not) are going to be….hard. And I do have blog plans.

It was supposed to be completely reworked by this point but clearly…yeah that hasn’t happened yet. So thats happening and I of course with the sections I have done want to do some more pieces in them, I mean thats why they have a tag on the top of the page but…we aren’t there yet.

So. I don’t know what to say.

Until next time,

Lili

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