November 16th 2018
No matter if your real or all in my head. I wish people understood. And I wish I felt bad that when they didn’t I brush it off and say I’m fine. That I don’t want to talk about it anymore but the truth of the matter is I’m not. Fine I mean. They just don’t understand and I get tired of talking about it trying to explain. They see things one way me another and the views never collide. Neither of us ever realize that at some point we became hypocritical and try to change as though we might we are too far in to really care. Human nature I suppose. I’m not saying that the way I’m looking at things is always (or even often) the correct view but I’m not saying that it isn’t. I realize that I have a unique way of interpreting things that no one has been able to put a finger on yet. At least not that I know of. I understand sometimes I can speak in riddles without realizing and can speak a sentence within a sentence without blinking. I get all that. So maybe at the end of the day it is me. Maybe any one else would be able to have these conversations no problem and I can’t. And that’s why people get frustrated. Because I don’t react the way anybody else would. In that respect I do apologize I’m not intentionally trying to be this way. But…maybe it’s not me. But I just wish I could find a way to make them understand. And maybe not get so emotional over it because I hate it. Feeling like I don’t have control over what I’m feeling. But such is life.