Grief is a funny thing. Some deal with it by pretending it didn’t happen. Some by throwing themselves so hard into something else that it becomes a thing of the past.
And grief combined with moving can make it all to real.
Case in point.
In 2014 a super close family friend lost her fight to a rare type of cancer. Her family also had lost her grandfather and later grandmother that same time frame.
Also her father had lost his best friend to a shooting, his father to old age and his brother to an accident. Then their oldest daughter got stabbed by an ex boyfriend
A family no stranger to grief knew they had to keep moving. So they compartmentalize their grief.
The youngest, now a sophomore in high school dedicated himself to basketball. The next son into multiple jobs and the oldest daughter by this point has now married and has a daughter.
Her father trying to be strong is barely now starting to grieve the lost.
But grief doesn’t go away.
They started a foundation to raise money and supplies for various reasons, I still to this day can’t tell you all that they do. And it helps in some ways, knowing that they are doing something good helped.
Then they found out they were losing their house.
Their daughters room until now was basically untouched. Door closed like she was coming back, like she never left in the first place. She was going on a trip before she passed and that’s how they left it.
But at some point you have to deal with it.
I knew it would be hard so I volunteered to help pack. Gave up multiple weekends to pack and clean and made sure they were all eating. I took the youngest out and just hung out with him so he knew someone cared. Even helped them get an apartment nearby.
But that room.
I know it’s different, me not knowing her as well. Christ sakes I’ve never lost a child (as I’ve never had one) so I can’t imagine what it’s like for them.
But that room was suffocating. It really was like she was on a trip and wouldn’t be back in time to pack the house.
But she’s gone.
I did what was needed and waited until I got home to piece it all together. And I’ll say something.
She didn’t deserve to die. And maybe that sounds selfish or stupid like “Everyone has their time and when its time its time” or whatever but you can’t help a feeling you know?
She deserves to be here right now.
But it takes the pure and innocent dying to give us a reality check doesn’t it?
Grief is a funny thing.