Sometimes I wish I had never fallen in love. The ones closest to you are the ones that hurt the most. This is my story. And it’s a part of me. So be it. I guess.
I had never made many friends at any of my schools. I always was moving around too much. By my second move, I had put a wall around my heart refusing to let anyone get close enough to only to have to leave them. But then my walls broke. And the one that broke them was a boy named Timothy Green. We called him Tj for short. He was in my 7th-grade science class. Mr. Wright was the teacher’s name. You couldn’t help but to be friends with Tj. Kinda like me I guess. Maybe that’s what we had in common. The teacher went as far as to put us in the same table.I still remember that day. Up until this point we hadn’t even spoken just acknowledged each other’s existence.It didn’t stay that way for long. Within moments we were joking and messing around with one another. We became the best of friends. In time I began to start to have trouble with my parents. He noticed. He started to be the only one I talked to when I shut down.That made him different from all the other guys I hung out with. And that’s how it started. That’s how I started to fall in love with him. But it would be another year before I told him.6 months before I found out I was moving again. And how we found out was like this.Mind you this is not a part of the story I’m proud of. There was this kid named Ian. He had moved here halfway through our 6th-grade year. He quickly became friends with both me and Tj. This lead to our downfall. Ian asked me out beginning of our 7th-grade year. I said yes because at the time I had had an argument with Tj. So I said yes because of jealousy not because I actually liked him. Unknown to me at the time Ian was also doing the same thing. He was using me to make Tj jealous and he didn’t even like me. During our short few weeks of “dating” if you can call it that Tj became quieter than usual. I noticed this of course and asked him about it but he didn’t want to talk about it. Tj had a much thicker wall to his heart then I did so I left it alone. A few days after this I broke it off with Ian. Tj was much happier but he still never told me why. Afterward,he told me about Ian. I’ll admit I was pissed. But then I realized that I was doing the same thing. Then he asked me to be his girlfriend. He told me what was bothering him. It was seeing me with Ian. I said Yes. We were happy for 2 months. 2 months before our world fell apart. I found out I was moving again this time to the other side of the states. 2 time zones away. We were heartbroken of course and tried to keep it going after I left. But we slowly lost contact. It’s hard being in 2 different time zones with school and life in general. Then he broke up with me. On my birthday. I was a mess. Then 2 months later I’m in a group chat with him and my best girlfriend and find out he’s dating her. I tried to be disgusted, appalled even. But I couldn’t. No matter how much I tried I found I still loved him. And here we are. 2 years later and I just started high school without them. And I just havn’t been the same. Guess the word forever doesn’t mean the same to some people.I haven’t fallen in love since. All because of one boy who still has my heart.So yeah,that’s my story. A piece of me now.